Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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