Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
