I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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