Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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