there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
