my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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