A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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