it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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