i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
