Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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