I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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