a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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