dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
