I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.