problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
