i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
