What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
