turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this