Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  hey call me

  (810): View more from Michigan

  can't. in the shower.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

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  (734): hey call me (810): can't. in the shower. (734): ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time. http://tfl.nu/i884
  Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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  (909): how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close? http://tfl.nu/7d45
  Replies (33) Good night (484) Bad night (4049)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

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  (814): you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them. http://tfl.nu/uohp
  Replies (20) Good night (1155) Bad night (8489)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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  (248): he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast. http://tfl.nu/sg9r
  Replies (32) Good night (887) Bad night (6947)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation

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  (970): she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation http://tfl.nu/xd2t
  Replies (23) Good night (5985) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?

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  (605): So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win? (720): This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok? http://tfl.nu/drjm
  Replies (98) Good night (2677) Bad night (5748)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16405) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

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  (773): At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer? http://tfl.nu/g4aq
  Replies (34) Good night (1753) Bad night (5923)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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  (248): I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/x99f
  Replies (11) Good night (3917) Bad night (1399)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

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  (608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu
  Replies (12) Good night (4251) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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  (501): These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves. http://tfl.nu/s1g0
  Replies (6) Good night (3293) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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  (719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could. http://tfl.nu/sgv5
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.

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  (626): I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime. http://tfl.nu/zedi
  Replies (9) Good night (1943) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.

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  (206): I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent. http://tfl.nu/cy1a
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk

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  (954): Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk http://tfl.nu/mlfk
  Replies (3) Good night (246) Bad night (577)

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