watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize