Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
