Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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  (267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7
  Replies (59) Good night (4864) Bad night (1169)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

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  (785): Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them? http://tfl.nu/f0lg
  Replies (137) Good night (733) Bad night (2658)
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  (530): View more from California

  If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.

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  (530): If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed. http://tfl.nu/4web
  Replies (6) Good night (3202) Bad night (554)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.

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  (814): I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild. http://tfl.nu/qodr
  Replies (9) Good night (5106) Bad night (869)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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  (440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu
  Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (2648)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg

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  (612): I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg http://tfl.nu/y2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (547)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Go back and try to find another to go home with.

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  (501): Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders? (501): Go back and try to find another to go home with. http://tfl.nu/r0ix
  Replies (9) Good night (2411) Bad night (564)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks

  (1-573): View more from Missouri

  the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..

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  (573): just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks (1-573): the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving.. http://tfl.nu/nln8
  Replies (10) Good night (975) Bad night (546)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."

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  (617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes." http://tfl.nu/5alc
  Replies (31) Good night (3360) Bad night (1283)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
  Replies (7) Good night (463) Bad night (1124)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.

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  (414): Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears. http://tfl.nu/il0c
  Replies (7) Good night (525) Bad night (1592)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...

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  (770): Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now... http://tfl.nu/knzm
  Replies (6) Good night (866) Bad night (307)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.

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  (551): No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours. http://tfl.nu/8sve
  Replies (4) Good night (1088) Bad night (198)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.

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  (216): I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote. http://tfl.nu/863q
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (359)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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  (720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (163)

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