doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
