I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
