Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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