I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
