I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
