How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
