I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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