Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
