I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how can u be prego again
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
