i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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