god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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