dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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