My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
