pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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