Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
