the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
