Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize