Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
