His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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