Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
