Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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