Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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