If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
