So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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