what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A bitchslap is in order.
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