The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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