Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
