Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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