Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
