hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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