I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
