Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
