No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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