She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
