I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
