I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
