I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize