it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
