"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
