Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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