youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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