maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
