he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
